Life is not simple, and adversity is not easy. Whether small or great, everyone has their own fight. Beowulf, the epic poem about the great warrior, has the hero battling monsters, including one fire-breathing dragon. Beowulf battles monsters physically, whereas we battle monsters metaphorically—our inner struggles against the tests of strength and endurance. These monsters don’t exhale fire, but can inspire fear regardless. For me, fear and toxic relationships have been two of the greatest struggles, and like Beowulf, finding the strength to battle them has taken its toll.

The Dragon of Anxiety

Fear is one of the greatest monsters I fight. It impacts the things I make decisions about and discourages me from doing things that can possibly be fun, exciting, or even transformational. I overthink things, afraid of failing or disappointing others. This fear is paralyzing, stopping me from taking chances or pushing the limits beyond the known.

Beowulf, too, is afraid, but fear does not rule over him. In fighting Grendel, Grendel’s mother, and the dragon, he has the courage in himself and the support of his comrades. One of the greatest tests for him is when he fought Grendel’s mother bare-fisted, putting himself at risk. Even when the risk is high, he has the courage in himself and conquers. He is the type of courage that inspires me to believe in myself and overcome fear. To defeat fear is not necessarily the defeat of fear entirely but the act of doing something even when you fear.

The Dragon of Toxic Relationships

Another challenge for me has been recognizing and being able to leave toxic relationships. I’ve gotten close to some individuals whom I believed were doing their best for me, only to discover some were not doing their best for me after all. It’s difficult to accept the very people you love the most may not necessarily support you when you need them the most.

Beowulf experiences the very same type of betrayal. In the fight against the dragon, his loyal companions, those who were supposed to hold their word, depart when he is the neediest. One man alone, Wiglaf, is loyal. This is the truth: not all those you can hold your word about will hold their word about you. To let them leave is difficult, but by doing this you make space for those who will hold your word about you and lift you up.

Finding Strength in the Journey

Beowulf defeated all the monsters he faced, save one, but even he wasn’t invincible. He died during his last battle, but his courage and honor were not forgotten. Similarly, the troubles one goes through in one’s life need not necessarily find their solution, but through them one becomes stronger day by day.

Not all battles can ever be won, but each one has something worth learning from. Having faced fear has made me stronger and bolder about attempting things. Having learned to exclude toxic people has taught me the importance of keeping good and supportive companions around. Defeating our dragons—be they internal or external—is the very things that make us grow.

“So Grendel waged his lonely war,

Inflicting constant cruelties on the people,

Atrocious hurt. He took over Heorot,

Haunted the glittering hall after dark

With grim and greedy hands.”

What dragons did you fight during your lifetime? How did you defeat them? Leave your thoughts here in the comments—I’d love to hear your stories!